Golden Rosemary*
I was perfectly ready to live without children and be happy, but things don't always happen the way we want.
“You'll have a beautiful girl”, said the gypsy while handing me a rosemary branch.
Thereafter, she asked me for money, like every other gypsy who wandered around the Plaza de España in Seville. Poor woman, I thought, returning the rosemary. She should use a different story with me. After two years trying to get pregnant naturally, a frustrating procedure of artificial insemination, and seven years in the queue of applicants for adoption, being a mother had become something almost unreal for me. I got to think I would never live that experience — not in this life.
To my utter amazement, shortly after I got pregnant. I immediately thought of that woman and her rosemary branches. The coincidence of coincidences? Perhaps.
I must tell you: until that moment, I was perfectly ready to live without children and be happy. In fact, I learned to be happy by myself, without needing any formula or social rule to follow. There was no more suffering in that world outside the standard family. Deep inside I’m grateful for living this, it was great learning.
But I was pregnant.
From the huge surprise to the new dreams, little more than two weeks passed. And then — see you how the destiny is — I lost my baby in Venice, that old city with its water labyrinths and tourists seas. The communication effort with the doctors helped me to swallow that sensation of being screwed by life.
Back to Brazil, and always looking forward, things were returning to normal. Until we received a call: the social worker had big news for us. My beautiful girl was born! Skinny, small, and very serious, nobody believes that was Marina.
Today, my daughter grows up fast, is smart, smiles for everyone she knows, and already learned to say “mommy”, making my heart overflow. She still loves music, and rests on my lap when I sing one of her favorite songs: that one about the golden rosemary growing in the field so wild and free…
*This story was originally published in Portuguese — if this is your native language, perhaps you prefer to read it here: https://medium.com/@deboramals/alecrim-dourado-1c2d0cc352bb
